When retiring is extremely disappointing
The dreaded black hole and how to rise from it
Retirement. Finally, doing what you like. That turns out to be more difficult than expected for many people. Some fall into a 'black hole'. How do you prevent that? And can you recover? Retired Joep Athmer has the answer to those questions. Experienced first hand when he hit the bottom of the hole. "Every day, I make sure that people see me, that I remain of value."
"Days without a deadline, with plenty of time, while that time - conversely - is shrinking rapidly in volume." Does the world shrinking continue? The narrowing of the horizon?" Signed: journalist Wim Boevink, who as a retiree in his column in Trouw wondered what life looks like after your retirement. Once retired, he said in an interview: "That retirement date has been fixed for years, and there's something nice about that. I think it's good not to go on too long, you shouldn't live off your success forever. You also just have to go at one point."
"Just going" turned out not to be that simple for Joep Athmer. He was a board member of a large internationally operating multinational and regularly flew to distant, exciting destinations. "In the job I had, you keep growing. You think you're untouchable, but then when you retire, everything is suddenly gone. Instantly, you go from someone with appreciation, interest, someone everyone knows, back to 'this is just Joep Athmer'. I found that hard."
Where did it go wrong?
"Six months before my retirement, I was already heading for that dreaded black hole. I managed one more important final project at work, estranged from my wife and children, and liked everything in life better than what I already had. It was a combination of the fear of what was to come and the exciting things that came my way. And I didn't talk about that feeling at home.
Suddenly, I wanted to catch up with everything, build a new life of my own. Everything had to change. I got my motorcycle license and met new people. I didn't think about going back to a life of suburban bliss. And I kept that up for quite a while. Until about three quarters of a year after my retirement. At my lowest point, I even lived on my own for six months. I was just lost for a while."