“I used to go to my house; now I come home”

The Netherlands is aging. And that affects all sorts of things, such as the housing market, the healthcare system, the economy, the labor market and the pension system. In a series of articles, we cover these topics through interviews with an expert or with people who are part of the gray wave. This time Yvonne Dijkstra (78). She has lived in many different places in the Netherlands.

Amsterdam, Purmerend, Broek in Waterland, Rhenen, Veenendaal; she has lived there all. But she has never felt as much as home as she does now, in Woerden. Amsterdam-born Yvonne lives in a Thuishuis (athomehome) there; a residential community similar to university housing, but it is for single people over 55 years. From the street, the row of houses in Woerden looks like any other; nothing stands out. Six units on the ground floor, which do have a shared garden, however. And on top of that, six regular dwellings. At the back, it becomes clear that this is no ordinary residential building. There is a courtyard with all sorts of sheds and a long gallery on the first floor. That gallery connects the six homes of the Thuishuis. This is the home for three women and three men, who live together independently.

Don’t belong to this church
Yvonne Dijkstra is the oldest resident there and she tells us how she ended up in this place. “I was visiting my friend, here in Woerden. I read an article in the newspaper about the Thuishuis and immediately said, 'I think that would work for me.' At the time I was still living in Veenendaal, where I had moved after my divorce in 2016. I felt really lonely there. I lived in a big apartment building, and it was hard to get accepted into the social circle as an Amsterdam native. And I was told, ‘You don’t belong to our church’. So, when I saw that article, I called right away and I was able to get an interview on the spot.”

Meet-and-greet
However, Yvonne did have to meet the current residents first. And so, she went to a meet-and-greet - just like in student housing - to be “vetted". Fortunately, they were mutually pleased and Yvonne was able to move in. There were only six weeks between the first interview and the move. With her genuine Amsterdam accent, she says: “It had to be like that. It comes your way and if it wasn't meant to be, I wouldn’t have gotten it. I had furnished my house in Veenendaal with stuff from the thrift store. Pretty nice, but it was way too much. This house is a lot smaller. But I had some savings, so when I moved here,. I bought everything new. It really felt like a fresh start to me.”

Your own laundry day
In the hall, there is a whiteboard with a schedule on it. Every resident has their own laundry day, but they are allowed to trade, of course. “I really enjoy living in a community,” Yvonne says. “And the sense of safety and solidarity. You’re not alone, but you’re also not in each other’s space. You do have your own life. Especially the other residents. They are quite a bit younger and a bit more active during the day. You run into each other in the kitchen and have a little chat. Sometimes we share a meal. We all keep the common area clean together and there are two residents that I often do puzzles with. In the evening, I go back to my own apartment and read.”

Independent together

Living together independently: is that the future in the tight housing market with a growing group of older people? Yvonne sees some merit in it. “In Germany you have family homes, where three generations live together. Grandpa and grandma live downstairs; they regularly look after the children. But they have more space there. Besides, in the Netherlands we are far too much on our own for something like that. I come from a working-class neighborhood in Amsterdam. When I was little, my mother used to say, ‘Those people need groceries, go get them.’ And then you’d go, and they’d give you a candy. If you say something like that now, you're told, ‘Let them call the Appie (Supermarket Albert Heijn, ed.); they deliver.’ If you even know who your neighbors are these days.”

Taking care of each other

There is no such thing as extra or intensive care in the Thuishuis. If the residents need care, regular home care comes. Yet there are plenty of advantages to living together like this, Yvonne explains. “You help each other, give someone a ride to the doctor, for instance. To give an example, one of the residents, Gerrit, was able to live here as long as possible because we picked him up for dinner, did his shopping, things like that. Just as you used to bring food to your sick neighbor in a village, or have coffee together. Just little things. Until it is no longer possible.”

Always a light on
Those little things matter to Yvonne, who does have two good friends in Woerden, but no longer maintains contact with her children. Her social life was also limited in the past. Yvonne: “My husband was depressed, and then at a certain point people just stay away.” Now she has it better than ever. “I’ve never had it so good. I used to go to my house, now I come home. When I’ve been out for a day and come in, I’m comfortable in my bubble. I feel secure. There’s always a light on somewhere. I’m staying here till the end!”